It's Complicated
by Yvearia
Summary: Sookie finally succumbs to the social networking craze. Humor. One Shot.


A/N: Been reading some stuff on collegehumor . com. This was inspired by "5 Star Wars Status Updates". Hope it make you smile, or laugh, or both. Have a great day. (Now I'm back to Writing **I Know You're Dead**)

-Yve

***

"Everyone is a member of some kind of social networking site, Sook."

"But I've kind of already got a boyfr – whatever. I don't need to join a dating site." Amelia and I were sitting in front of the new laptop Eric had had delivered to my house earlier in the week. She was showing me how to use the Mac Air (Eric said he doubted I would need the computing power of a Macbook Pro just yet, whatever that meant. And he'd be more than pleased to purchase one for me when I did, but I thought my little Mac Air was cute).

"Not a dating site, Sookie. Social networking. So you can keep up with your friends out of town or wherever. It's kinda fun – I guess it's become one of my addictions. Let me get you set up with one, at least." I looked at her skeptically.

"How many are there?"

"Oh, lots. Facebook and Twitter are the two big ones nowadays, and a lot of people used to use Myspace, but it's not all that popular anymore."

"Ok, what do you use?"

"All three of them." She giggled. She told me a bit more about each site and I decided I only really needed to use one, so I went with Facebook. She typed the URL into the address bar thingy and we started signing me up.

"Ok, Sookie, what's your email?"

"I don't have one. Help?" I looked at Amelia sheepishly. She opened a 'new tab' in my 'browser' and took me to Google. This I was familiar with. At least a little. She set up a new Gmail account for me, then we went back to the social site and set up a profile.

I opted to leave a lot of my personal info blank, but Amelia convinced me to make my educational info public, so I could keep up with people from the high school. I also listed Merlotte's as my employer. Under relationship status were options for 'married, single, in a relationship, looking, or it's complicated'. Complicated was a perfect way to describe our relationship, and I doubted Eric actually had a Facebook profile, so he couldn't exactly get defensive about it.

I got up to go fix us some supper while Amelia fleshed-out the rest of my profile. I took some homemade chicken soup and garlic toast out of the freezer. While those were heating up – soup on the stove, toast in the oven – I whipped up some fresh iced tea. When Amelia came to the table to eat, she brought the laptop with her.

"I added you as a friend, or 'friended' you. And I've been poking around, looking for groups you might want to join. I found a few people I thought you'd want to friend and sent some requests out. Now, we've just got to wait for the responses. Check out these groups, see if you want to join them."

She had found "Friends of The Pack – Shreveport", "Fangtasia" (which she said I couldn't join, but could become a fan of), "The American Vampire League" (another I would have to become a fan of), and "1,000,000 Strong to Support Were Rights". I approved of all of them. I spent the next fifteen minutes browsing the groups I had joined. I was amazed that Fangtasia had one of these pages. Pam R. was listed as the administrator.

"Hey, I'm clicking on 'Pam R.', cause it's blue and I think that's Pam, but it won't show me anything but her picture." Pam was staring out of the computer screen at me with a cynical look. She wore some kind of pink, lacy blouse, and was in what looked like her living room (what I could remember of it). It looked like she had taken the picture with her computer's camera.

"That's because she hasn't confirmed your friendship yet – I already sent her a friend request. It's just past dark, Sook. You gotta give her a second."

I clicked back on the little house icon at the top left corner of the window – what Amelia had told me was my 'home' button – and suddenly I could see all these entries from 'Pam R.', Sam Merlotte, Amelia Broadway, and so on.

"See, she confirmed your friend request," Amelia said as she leaned over my shoulder to gather my dirty dishes. "Sam did too."

I closed the laptop and began helping her clear the table. It was a little bit of information overload, and I felt slightly more dumb than normal, with Amelia pointing everything out to me. I decided I would come back to it after I'd had my shower, in the safety of my own bedroom.

It was around eleven o'clock before I opened the thin little laptop again. I was snuggled up in my comfy Vicky Secret PJ's, with my old quilt wrapped around my shoulders. Here goes nothin'.

I navigated to the page without much difficulty, remembering most of what Amelia had taught me this afternoon. I began reading the entries listed on the 'home page':

_You are now friends with Pam R., Sam Merlotte, William Compton, Tara DuRone, Amelia Broadway, Jason Stackhouse, and Alcide Heveraux._

_Jason Stackhouse confirmed you as his Sister  
__4 hours ago. Comment. Like.  
Amelia Broadway and Sam Merlotte like this._

_Pam R. became a fan of Dear Abby__  
3 hours ago. Comment. Like. Become a Fan.__  
Amelia Broadway and 2 others like this.  
Eric Northman Get back to work, Pamela.  
3 hours ago  
Pam R. Done with invoicing already, I see. What good are smart phones if you can't use them to surf the web while working. The rabble are behaving quite well this evening. Work is boring as ever.  
3 hours ago_

_Sam Merlotte and Amelia Broadway are now friends.  
5 hours ago. Comment. Like. _

_Sam Merlotte woke up at 3am and is Fbooking it because it's too early for anything else :(  
20 hours ago. Comment. Like.  
Alcide Herveraux likes this.  
Alcide Heveraux I can't sleep either. Wanna go for a run?  
19 hours ago  
Sam Merlotte Maybe next week. Heading back to bed.  
19 hours ago_

_Jason Stackhouse Whats inanimate mean yall  
2 days ago. Comment. Like.  
1 person likes this.  
Sam Merlotte Google it  
Tue. at 6pm  
Amelia Broadway go to dictionarydotcom , Jason  
Tue. at 6:08pm  
Hoyte Fortenberry –adjective; not animate; lifeless.  
Wed. at 9:12am  
Jason Stackhouse animate? Like a cartoon?  
Wed. at 12:30pm  
Amelia Broadway LMAO  
Wed. at 12:32pm  
Hoyte Fortenberry They ain't alive or they don't move  
Wed at 12:48pm  
Jason Stackhouse So like a vamp is inanimate all durrin the daytime  
Wed. at 5:43pm  
Sam Merlotte No, a vampire is dead during the daytime.  
20 hours ago  
Jason Stackhouse same difference  
6 hours ago_

_Jason Stackhouse became a fan of Beer, Awkward eye contact with people in cars next to you at red lights, Yelling at inanimate objects, the episode of reno 911 were terry gave hand jobs in a tacobell bathroom, and Stewart Gilligan "Stewie" Griffin.  
2 days ago. Comment. Like. Become a Fan._

Just then I got a little box pop up at the bottom right corner of the window

_Eric Northman has sent you a message_

I clicked on the underlined word _message_ and it took me to a new page. There was a small picture of Bela Lugosi in a tuxedo next to Eric's name. The message subject was 'Complicated?'. Uh oh. I clicked to open the message.

_Why have you not confirmed my friend request? What am I supposed to infer from this, Sookie? If you do not yet know how, there is a box in the upper right hand corner of your screen with the heading "Requests". You should have at least one friend request. Click the link and confirm our 'friendship' (though you seem to have labeled it complicated). Pamela is excited that you have become a member of Facebook. I am glad that you have embraced my gift and seem to be enjoying the liberties the internet can provide. Information travels faster in the modern age._

_I will see you when I conclude my business for this evening. I expect to be friended by then. If not, we will have things to discuss. Good evening, Dear One._

_-E_

I did as Eric instructed me and confirmed our friendship. There were a few other's to confirm as well, Holly and Hoyte, for instance. To my surprise, Calvin Norris also had an account and had sent me a friend request. By the time I had finished and was about to take a look at Eric's profile, my window rattled and I jumped.

There was a tall, blonde Viking staring in at me. He began lifting the window sash and he had that look in his eye. Suddenly 'social networking' was the furthest thing from my mind.


End file.
